My formidable mother-in-law recently celebrated her 90th birthday. For the occasion, she gathered more than 100 of her friends and family. The words of her friends, children, and grandchildren made it evident that she is loved and respected.
She is always the first person to call on birthdays, and once you appear on her calendar, you never disappear from it again. She has spread her joy far and wide – even some of my childhood friends receive birthday messages from her.
The event showed she had not lost her flair for organisation - she still had her trusted notebook in hand, containing every detail of her life.
She has been a woman ahead of her time – a working mother who reached a top leadership position at a prominent educational institution. She made work-life balance look easy. She was the cricket scorer for her son’s cricket team until teenage girls replaced her, much to her dismay.
She has always been involved in her church, often holding leadership positions, and until recently, sang in the choir. After retirement, she started a club for seniors and organised fun activities for the community's older members.
We nearly lost her four years ago to Covid, during the height of the second wave over the holiday period. We gathered around her bed, expecting the worst. Her prognosis wasn’t great, given her many other health problems and advanced age. However, caring messages from her community poured in, an endless stream of “We’re praying for you” and “We have faith that you will pull through.” Miraculously, she recovered. The morning after we had all gathered around her bed, she sat up and said grace at our next meal. Before long, she entertained the family with Boggle and Rummikub games, full of banter and jokes, frequently at her own expense.
When I look at her life, I see what matters most. She has lived the kind of life that research now highlights as the best life: a life filled with people who matter to you. Wherever she has gone, she has gathered a community around her. Where there was none, she created one. Her reward is a fulfilled life, one with purpose, even if that purpose is to make one birthday call every day.
She taught me that life can be rich with little financial resources. While gathering financial resources is important, it means little if you have not gathered community and even less if you have no purpose to live.
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Kind regards,
Sunél