Last week, ninety of my matric classmates gathered for our 40th school reunion. It isn’t easy to believe that it has been 40 years since we were the cool kids of the ‘80s. We brought out old photos, laughed over long-forgotten memories, and reminisced about long days on hard school benches and the thrills of school sports. It was wonderful to witness the joy of shared memories and the rediscovery of old friends.
Of course, not everyone loved school, and for good reason. Some, especially the men, had vivid memories of teachers’ fear-inducing methods for instilling discipline. Others were uninspired by the system or struggled with peer pressure or feelings of isolation.
Among us were classmates who were farmers, scuba divers, and human rights advocates. Others had gone on to report in war-torn countries, while some were at the forefront of AI or had become futurists.
It was fascinating to hear how people’s lives unfolded. At our age, most are nearing the end of their careers, and there’s a quiet acceptance about success or failure. Most are resigned to their story.
What struck me was the lack of connection between school-day success and adult achievement. Yes, the academically minded kids studied impressive degrees and built notable careers. Yet, many who never excelled in school became successful entrepreneurs. And others, leading ordinary lives, seemed deeply content.
Listening to the different paths people took, it became apparent that what people value differs widely – some chased financial success in major global cities, while others found peace in simple, coastal living.
While we all followed different paths, the fragility of life also became clear. Some of our classmates passed away in tragic accidents or fought long battles with cancer. Some lost their parents or life partners early, while others’ families remain intact.
In a way, life is a leveller. It hands us our cards, indifferent to our status or past.
What emerged for me was the apparent lack of correlation between financial success and happiness. Nearly everyone pointed to their relationships, firstly with a life partner, but also with children, siblings, friends, and communities, as the real sources of happiness in their lives.
My observations aren’t unique. The now-famous longitudinal Harvard study of Adult Development found that the quality of our relationships is one of the strongest predictors of healthy ageing. According to Robert Waldinger, one of the directors of the study, those who kept warm relationships lived longer and happier lives. “Loneliness kills,” he said. In later life, our relationships often circle back to where they began, like our school friends.
I also noted a shift – from the drive to work and earn, to seeking meaning, purpose and passion. It’s a healthy reorientation as we prepare for a time where work will no longer dominate our lives. This new chapter often involves giving back, reaching out, or pursuing creative endeavours and rekindling forgotten passions.
We’re all now in this new phase. We’ve lived our stories of success or failure in life. Yet, our stories are by no means finished. They’re still unfolding. Statistically, we may still write an exciting next chapter. However, we are not guaranteed many more chapters.
I look forward to seeing how these friends write the next chapter of their stories. If I’m fortunate enough to have the time, I plan to write many more meaningful chapters in my own life.
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Kind regards,
Sunél
//16 May 2025