During May, I carved out some time for two annual girlfriend trips – one to the Franschhoek Literary Festival, and the other for a weekend of pure bliss at Victoria Falls. These trips are inked in my diary - sometimes a year in advance - and are important for different reasons.
The literary festival provided an opportunity to broaden my perspective, expose myself to a diverse range of authors and genres, and challenge my thinking. It was a chance to compare notes with book-loving friends and to enjoy the excellent food, wine, and beautiful scenery that Franschhoek is known for. Because it involves old friends, I must admit that we sometimes skip the odd session in favour of a sunset wine and cheese moment – or a long-overdue coffee catch-up.
Victoria Falls was a different kind of retreat. It involved a group of women whose annual weekend I gate-crashed for the first time last year. When a close friend told me about this diverse group and the fun they had, I asked to join. I’m so glad I did. It’s rare to find a cross-cultural, cross-racial group that connects with such ease, and has so much fun doing it. Whether we were sipping cocktails by the pool, soaking up the sun, watching the glorious African sunset, or standing in awe of the power of the falls, laughter was always there, bubbling to the surface.
The joy of allowing ourselves to be real – and finding humour in both our challenges and our differences - is the glue that binds this group. We talk all the time. We traverse terrain such as Black hair, school sport, Trump, careers, motherhood, money, and marriage, with honesty and humour.
And there’s always a serious moment or two. This year, over dinner, we spoke of our biggest regrets and proudest moments. We switched between tears of laughter and heartache – often within the same sentence - always underpinned by astonishing vulnerability.
Although I seldom see these women during the year (I’m the only one not living in Johannesburg), I treasure this time.
After these weekends, I come away with a new perspective and energy. I come back with a memory bank full of treasured moments. Learnings. But it’s more than that. It’s also about the connection - interactions that strengthen my trust in people and my network of connections, and which deepen my understanding of the human experience.
These trips also offer another benefit - one that I believe is important but often overlooked: social capital. I don’t do these weekends for financial gain, but there’s no doubt that they encourage social capital, which can be essential for personal and career growth. It is often through our social connections that we gain clients, build influence, or find our next opportunity or job. Even loose connections can open doors - something women frequently overlook as they are caught in the grind of daily responsibilities.
From the outside, these trips may seem frivolous. To me, they are treasured. Increasingly essential even. I encourage you to carve out similar moments. Not only as essential downtime, but as intentional space to check in with yourself, and your friends or connections. And if you cannot justify it as a personal treat, then perhaps framing it as an investment in social capital is a more valid excuse!
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Kind regards,
Sunél