While on my writing retreat, I was hosted by a retired couple, clients who have become mentors. In between writing, I spent a delightful time with them, taking walks and sharing meals. It meant catching up on a lifetime of stories and soaking up the wisdom of their experiences.
What struck me was the simplicity and contentment of their retirement. They have chosen to live close to nature, spending most of their time on conservation projects that matter to them. They value their connections with their children, family, and community, and they sincerely appreciate the time they spend together.
Their daily rhythms include sunset walks, Pilates classes, shared meals, and reading – all small but steady contributors to a contented life.
When I asked them how their retirement compared with their original picture, they agreed it looked very different. In fact, they said most of their friends’ retirements also turned out quite differently from what they had planned.
Often, the difference between expectation and reality came from unexpected changes. In retirement, many things can still happen – children may move overseas, family members may need financial assistance, health challenges may arise, or the place we settled may become unsuitable.
Adapting to these unexpected changes can be difficult, particularly when people had envisioned a stable and secure life. But retirement is no different from the rest of life: the unexpected should be expected, and we need the same flexible mindset to adapt.
One of life’s most significant challenges lies here – in the gap between expectation and reality. That gap determines our contentment. It is not the experience, but the distance between what we expected and what we encounter, that shapes our happiness. When the gap widens, primarily through unforeseen circumstances, it can have a profound impact on our well-being.
Most people approach retirement with anticipation and a vision of what it will be. All that free time, coupled with some life savings, fuels lofty expectations of leisure and fulfilment. Yet high expectations can set us up for disappointment – and low expectations can, surprisingly, create space for delight.
What I have observed is that people can be content, even remarkably happy, with very little. I have watched some adapt from lavish, globetrotting lifestyles to lives sustained on a fraction of what they once had and still live with joy and gratitude.
It is not the changes themselves, but the fear of our reaction to them – fear of disappointment, fear of shame – that unsettles us. It is the fear of adjustment that most disturbs our peace.
Which leads me to believe we need to practise flexibility throughout our lives. That flexibility should include not only how we live, but also how we hold our expectations.
My time with them reminded me that happiness in retirement, as in life, comes less from getting what we imagined and more from learning to love what unfolds.
Ps: I love to hear your comments. If you are not on our mailing list, you can subscribe to receive this blog every week on our website www.foundationsa.com.
What struck me was the simplicity and contentment of their retirement. They have chosen to live close to nature, spending most of their time on conservation projects that matter to them. They value their connections with their children, family, and community, and they sincerely appreciate the time they spend together.
Their daily rhythms include sunset walks, Pilates classes, shared meals, and reading – all small but steady contributors to a contented life.
When I asked them how their retirement compared with their original picture, they agreed it looked very different. In fact, they said most of their friends’ retirements also turned out quite differently from what they had planned.
Often, the difference between expectation and reality came from unexpected changes. In retirement, many things can still happen – children may move overseas, family members may need financial assistance, health challenges may arise, or the place we settled may become unsuitable.
Adapting to these unexpected changes can be difficult, particularly when people had envisioned a stable and secure life. But retirement is no different from the rest of life: the unexpected should be expected, and we need the same flexible mindset to adapt.
One of life’s most significant challenges lies here – in the gap between expectation and reality. That gap determines our contentment. It is not the experience, but the distance between what we expected and what we encounter, that shapes our happiness. When the gap widens, primarily through unforeseen circumstances, it can have a profound impact on our well-being.
Most people approach retirement with anticipation and a vision of what it will be. All that free time, coupled with some life savings, fuels lofty expectations of leisure and fulfilment. Yet high expectations can set us up for disappointment – and low expectations can, surprisingly, create space for delight.
What I have observed is that people can be content, even remarkably happy, with very little. I have watched some adapt from lavish, globetrotting lifestyles to lives sustained on a fraction of what they once had and still live with joy and gratitude.
It is not the changes themselves, but the fear of our reaction to them – fear of disappointment, fear of shame – that unsettles us. It is the fear of adjustment that most disturbs our peace.
Which leads me to believe we need to practise flexibility throughout our lives. That flexibility should include not only how we live, but also how we hold our expectations.
My time with them reminded me that happiness in retirement, as in life, comes less from getting what we imagined and more from learning to love what unfolds.
Ps: I love to hear your comments. If you are not on our mailing list, you can subscribe to receive this blog every week on our website www.foundationsa.com.
Kind regards,
Sunél
//26 September 2025