In response to my recent blog about my annual planning exercise, a wise regular reader replied, “Are you living, or being lived?” It made me chuckle.
As a business coach, he had probably witnessed the influence of the big-dreaming, positive-thinking, time management gurus of the time. Those practices did not always allow for much spontaneity, fun or adventure. Not a lot of living.
His comment did make me think about my brown planning file, with its intentions structured to include every aspect of life, even fun. And yet his words ring true. We must live. Really live.
But I also know myself. Left alone, I might sit on my stoep contemplating life for days without even wandering to the village coffee shop. I need structure and often the commitment to plans with friends to get out into the world.
I need to plan to live. As a single person, I also need to think ahead about who can join me for specific events. I enjoy meals or concerts alone, but going solo is not always safe or healthy, so a little forethought helps me keep moving outward rather than inward.
Just this week, I dragged my kids to a Corrs concert, where I embarrassed them by dancing shamelessly while most of the audience hardly tapped their feet. Their music holds special memories for me, and I wanted to relive those memories through dancing as a more carefree version of myself.
If there is one thing I learned this year, it is that a long life is not guaranteed. We need to live fully and make the most of the time we have. For me, that now means dancing in the aisles and letting go of the inhibitions of what people might think.
In financial planning, this means being careful not to focus only on making money last. Half of us will die before the average life expectancy. Our capacity and desire for adventure also decline as we age. We must ask what life we want now, while we still can and while we still have partners or able friends willing to join us.
One of the best parts of my job is encouraging clients to think about meaningful spending. Recently, after prompting, a client finally permitted themselves to pay for a rare family trip. Often, people are waiting for someone to dig out the desire and to help them allow themselves to take the risk.
That same reader later shared a saying from his dad: “’n Bietjie wangedrag, dan en wan, is verkwikkend.” A little misbehaving now and then is refreshing.
So here is your call to misbehave. Live a little too much.
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Kind regards,
Sunél