Many of our clients have more than enough money to retire comfortably. Our scenario planning confirms they’ll have enough even under the most difficult conditions. Yet many remain just as anxious about having enough as they were when they were still building toward it. They re-run projections, struggle to spend even on things that matter, delay important decisions, and stay controlling in ways that go well beyond their money.
The anxiety is usually about something deeper, and money is just where it surfaces. It’s worth understanding your own drivers; your personality, your history, your sense of self-worth. But above those personal reasons, there is often a more universal one. Not just for those already prone to anxiety, but for most of us navigating financial life in the modern world, money provokes anxiety.
My sense is that we’re seeing more of this than before, and that the reason is not only personal but societal. In post-war Western cultures, we have elevated the ideal of individual financial independence. The individual is held solely responsible for their financial success or failure, ignoring the role of inheritance, luck, timing, and the system itself. When things go wrong, there is no one else to share the burden.
I felt this anxiety after leaving my marriage. I became anxious about my spending and began to control my environment, despite having a secure income and sufficient financial resources. I felt so lonely.
I was not alone in this. For most of history, financial risk was shared. The tribe, village, church, or family absorbed shocks together. The village stepped up when the harvest failed.
Perhaps the money anxiety we face today is not really about money at all. It’s about the unbearable aloneness of it.
The solution is not a higher number in your portfolio. There is no magic figure that will free you from money anxiety. The answer lies in community.
Community is not easy to build nowadays. Who are the people you can call in the middle of the night? Who is your village?
For me, my hiking club and neighbours became my village; they pitched up to help me move, offered to keep my keys in case of an emergency, and offered to run errands to the hardware store. It made me feel less alone and gave me a sense of security about my future.
Creating community is not about expensive dinners. It’s about lowering the bar for belonging. Someone in our street recently arranged for neighbours to meet at the local park, everyone bringing their own drinks and snacks. That sparked something.
It’s about trading independence for interdependence. Leaving a key with a neighbour. Borrowing a tool instead of buying one. Filling someone’s fridge before they arrive home from a trip. Community is built in small, recurring moments.
So, the next time you feel financial anxiety, ask whether there is really anything more to be done about the money. Perhaps the answer isn’t another spreadsheet or a meeting with your planner. Instead, become the instigator of community. Throughout history, in times of real disaster, financial means are levelled. Community is what saves people.
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Kind regards,
Sunél
