I caught up with old friends over a delicious Indian meal this week. We were talking about the benefits of knowing yourself. We pondered on the reasons some people develop the ability to view their behaviours objectively, and others never do. Nurturing this ability is vital in healthy relationships, and especially when it comes to money.
Often, our behaviours only become apparent to us when they are reflected to us by someone affected by them.
However, becoming aware of a certain recurring behaviour and its impact on those around us is only the start. What reflective people do next is understand where that behavioural pattern originates. Although I don’t think we fully understand the mechanisms, it must be rooted in our thinking patterns. Some of our thinking patterns are primal, and we can think about money as a matter of life or death. Even a decision about an insignificant purchase can feel overwhelming, as if our survival depends on it.
We explored various ways to unravel our thinking. How do we understand what we are thinking and what’s behind that thinking?
While there are many techniques that could be helpful, journalling has been one of the best ways to figure out what’s behind my actions. I have been journalling for more than two decades.
My journal is not a diary; it’s my thinking-and-feeling companion. Initially, I just jotted down ideas, thoughts, dreams and prayers. However, after reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I started writing longer journal entries in cursive, in about three pages of unfiltered thoughts and feelings.
I don’t always write as much, and I don’t get to write every day either. But I know when it’s time to write, when I feel unsettled, or when I need clarity. While it may start with writing about a bad day, it flows into deeper, real insights. Writing helps me empty my brain of mental clutter, to-do lists, and circling thoughts, capturing them on paper.
Regular journalling will uncover recurring thought patterns. Earlier in my life, I wrote about financial worries for years until it occurred to me that I had to work on the financial uncertainty that comes with being an entrepreneur.
While cursive journalling in a leather-bound book with creamy, textured paper sounds romantic, there is plenty of hard science linking this way of writing to improvements in wellbeing, memory, and thinking. Handwritten journalling activates parts of the brain that are difficult to access in other ways. It also forces slower, more deliberate thinking.
I rarely emerge from a session of journalling without an insight. Furthermore, by writing down our thoughts and intentions, we are more likely to remember them, increasing the likelihood of behaviour change.
Journalling may not be for everyone, but I’d encourage everyone to at least try it as a thinking tool. At worst, writing stuff down makes you feel better. You have at least vented about something that aggravated you or expressed your grief over a small loss.
For me, journalling has been one of the most helpful tools in my wellbeing toolkit.
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Kind regards,
Sunél
