Financial planning often starts with numbers—savings targets, investment returns, and retirement projections. These matters, but only when there’s money available to save or invest. And that depends mainly on something less technical: daily financial behaviour.
One of the biggest influences on our behaviour is comparison. In today’s connected world, it’s easy to feel like others are achieving more, faster and with less effort. A single post can spark doubt: Am I doing enough? Should I be further along?
At times, comparison can be helpful. It might spark ambition or reveal new possibilities. But left unchecked, it can push us off course, pulling us away from our values and leaving us feeling inadequate.
As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy, and over time, it can erode both our confidence and our financial momentum.
While younger generations may feel it most acutely through social media, comparison affects us all at every stage of life. Whether in careers, retirement, or family life, we often measure ourselves against others. Even if you don’t feel its pressure directly, understanding its influence can help you support others who might—or spark meaningful conversations about its impact.
The financial cost of comparison
Trying to keep up with others often comes at a real financial price.
From overspending to misaligned goals, comparison can quietly derail your plans. Here’s how:
- Inconsistent goals
You may chase milestones that don’t reflect your actual values. - Lifestyle inflation
Trying to match others’ spending can strain your budget and increase stress. - Unnecessary debt
Buying to project an image, rather than meeting a need, can lead to long-term financial pressure. - Impulse spending & delayed progress
Purchases made to “keep up” may feel good now, but slow your long-term growth. Every rand spent this way is a rand not used to:- Build emergency savings
- Reduce debt
- Grow investments
- Pursue meaningful goals like travel or education
Over time, the cost of keeping up can outweigh the value it brings, leaving you further from the life you’re working toward.
The emotional effects of comparison
Comparison doesn’t just affect your wallet—it impacts how you feel, think, and live.
Over time, it can quietly undermine your confidence and clarity.
- Loss of self-confidence
Measuring your progress against others can leave you feeling behind, even when you’re not. - Mental clutter
Constant comparison clouds your sense of purpose and success. - Exhaustion and burnout
Striving for someone else’s version of success can be draining, especially if the life you're building isn’t truly yours.
These effects often build slowly, until you find yourself questioning decisions that once felt clear.
Strategies to navigate comparison constructively
How do you quiet the noise and stay grounded in your financial journey?
It starts with habits that bring clarity, reduce pressure, and keep your focus where it belongs—on your path.
- Clarify what matters to you - Define your values, priorities, and version of success. Is it freedom? Flexibility? Peace of mind? Let this guide your financial plan.
- Measure your progress - Compare yourself only to your past self. Did you reduce debt? Build savings? Feel more in control? That’s success.
- Control your inputs - Unfollow accounts that spark pressure. Choose media that encourages clarity, not competition.
- Pause before decisions - Before making a big financial move, ask: Is this aligned with my goals, or someone else’s expectations?
- Name the feeling - When comparison creeps in, notice it. Naming the emotion helps break its grip.
- Talk about money goals - Share your goals with people you trust. For instance, say: “I’m saving 20% this year” or “We’re pausing renovations to invest more.”
Honest money conversations reinforce your values—and invite others to do the same. It can be a source of connection too.
Perspective matters
What we see of others is just a snapshot. Behind every photo or success story are trade-offs, stressors, or debts we don’t see.
Yes, some people have more—but that doesn’t mean they’re under less pressure. Their challenges are just different. We’re all navigating a financial story filled with unseen doubts, decisions, and sacrifices.
Morgan Housel captures it powerfully in his book, The Psychology of Money:
“The ceiling of social comparison is so high that virtually no one will ever hit it. Which means it’s a battle that can never be won... The only way to win is to not fight—to accept that you might have enough, even if it’s less than those around you.”
“The hardest financial skill is getting the goalpost to stop moving.”
Plan for the life you want
Comparison is human, but when it drives your choices, it can pull you away from what truly matters.
By staying focused on your values and goals, you reclaim control of your financial journey. You make better decisions, build confidence, and move closer to a life that’s not only financially stable but also personally fulfilling.
At Foundation Family Wealth, we support this journey—helping you gain clarity, stay focused, and create a financial life that reflects who you are and what you truly want. Contact us today for a revision of your financial plan.
<Foundation Family Wealth is an Authorised Financial Services provider>